...to find a good pair of jeans? I mean, seriously:
I have seven pairs of jeans.
Two have a rip in the crotch. That leaves five.
One has half a leg holding on by a single thread. That leaves four.
One pair are black but have a hole in the thigh to reveal my ghostly white skin. That's three left.
One of these three are a good four inches too much in the waist. Two remaining.
The newest of the remaining two are three months old and have a hole in the pocket wide enough for my phone to fall through. One.
I have one pair of jeans that I wear on a regular basis. These same jeans also have the crotch space to accommodate for a Blue Whale.
That's not one pair of 'decent' jeans.
The only real mind-fuck is how I've not noticed this in the last few years.